Thursday, May 05, 2005

Homeland Security Beefing Up Its Staff Thanks To Dole

We must thank Elizabeth Dole for increasing the staff of Homeland Security.

Now, these 72 officers won't be patrolling the border with Mexico, where al Qaeda agents are thought to pass into America.

No, not this.

And, they won't be inspecting shipment containers for explosives, nuclear devices, or biothreats.

Nor, will they be tracking down potential sleeper cells in the heartland of our country.

Instead, they will be counting the number of sheets and underwear brought into this country from China.

Yep, these.


Well, maybe terrorists won't try to attack us, maybe they've given up. It isn't like they are a patient bunch. I mean, after all, Osama attacked the WTC building the first time in 1993 and then attacked again in 2001. Oh wait, that was 8 years. So, it has been 4 years since the last attack. Gee, he's still out there isn't he? We kind of blew it in Torra Borra. Hmm. Maybe we SHOULD be looking in those shipping containers for more than underwear. I wonder what a dirty bomb set off in downtown Durham, or Detroit, or Dallas would do to those cities?

But, at least we'll know how many pairs of tighty-whities are coming into the country.

In all seriousness, textile manufacturing is in trouble in this country. But, couldn't you lay off the tax cuts for tycoons and heiresses for just ONE year and make our country safe again?